Single and being Mindful
When I think of my single self, it has been stages of being. The first was post break up. I was incredibly depressed. I didn't want to even be alone with myself. I joined every free on line app for dating and didn't even stop to think about anything. Frustrating date after date I went on and came home crying out of anger and loneliness. I was far from Mindful! After a while and a lot of therapy I realized this wasn't working for me.
The next stage was cacooning. I just stayed home. I was completely ok with it. I stayed home and put myself into school and work. I realized, however, I was still avoiding my life. I was far from happy and I went from one extreme to the next. Serial dating with expectations dashed to not facing life at all.
It was then that a book was recommended to me. It was called "It's Just and F-ing Date". I read it in a day. The premise of the book is that any date you go on is just that, a date, just dinner, just a movie, just a night out, until..there is something more to talk about. I went on an app called "Meet up" and joined a few groups. I started going out to a local coffee shop and met some nice people, one of which is still a good friend of mine. That coffee shop has since closed but this journey led me to ballroom dancing. What I love about dancing is I can challenge my shy self and go out and dance. There is no pressure to meet a guy and I am rarely if ever standing alone. It is challenging me to learn to be in the moment.
This journey has happened over a 5 year period. Many changes n my life, and my thought process completely rewired While I would love to be in a relationship again, it will happen if it is supposed to. Do I still get lonely sometimes, yes, of course. However, my thoughts are more on surrounding myself with my tribe, challenging myself to be more in the moment with my dancing and life, and being alone to regroup when I need to. Finding BALANCE
Being over 50 and single is a challenge for some and it is for myself, however I am no longer fighting my life, I am embracing my single life.
If you are like how I was, please consider registering for my new support group starting next Saturday September 29th at 9am at the Center for Intimate Relationships, Single, Now What? We will explore our single selves and embrace us! You can register by sending an email to Debbie@cirllc.com
Have an amazing day!
Debbie