Be a Butterfly
Many times in our own healing processes, becoming more aware of ourselves and more grounded, we need to do some sort of self-imposed isolation. What happens is we get used to the safe, warm place we create. A place where we can't get hurt, where we can continue mindful practice but also not expose ourselves to things that could potentially hurt again. Fear of getting out of control, depression, anxiety, fear can be a true emotion that holds us back when it is fear of repeating. However, if we have done the work, the healing work, then we can also learn to begin to break the shell and come out of it...see the world again, differently, maybe more cautiously, but see the sun, just like a butterfly emerging.
When I tell people I am not much of a risk taker, or one at all, people are surprised. When I tell people that I am extremely shy they are surprised. People say, you used to do theater, you were on TV, you dance, how can you be shy? I wasn't as a kid, but it manifested through adulthood. When I started dancing 3 years ago, I sat outside of that dance studio, shaking, the first time. When I competed for the first time I shook so badly that I couldn't hold a cup of water, when I changed studios the drive down to the new studio for the first time, my leg was shaking so badly I thought I was going to get into an accident. Each new experience, led me to the next, closer to the butterfly coming out of the isolation, emerging, mindfully to the next stage.
Now I am embarking on a new adventure...I am competing again, in March, after a 7 month hiatus, I left my part time job, which was a financial safety net, and I have someone new in my life, for the first time in 5 years. All of these risks...all of these steps forward, all of these of the continued mindful journey, all of these new experiences. I am mindfully, living....
Where are you stuck? Where are you afraid to emerge? Think about where you are..and what you want to do about it...and as shaky as it may feel...emerge as the butterfly you know you are.
Enjoy your Sunday
Debbie