Goodbye 2018, Hello New Year
New years has a lot of meaning for some, for others it is just another day. The calendar turns to another day, but on this day, tomorrow will be another year. some make resolutions, some go out and party tonight, some, like me, just stay home and have a quiet evening. Tomorrow we will all wake up and write a different year on our checks, papers, anywhere we write the date. For many, the end of a year makes us reflect back, not only on the year but on our life and changes we wish to make.
I am not one to make resolutions. In the practice of mindfulness, it is most important to be present, but in the case of New year's eve, it is almost inevitable to look back on the year and look at what we have been through and changes we need to make. One area it is so important to be aware of is the emotion that is tied to the reflection. To not only look at the negative but positives and sometimes the changes and positives that come out of the changes. Manage and feel the emotion that comes with any reflection.
In my world there have been so many changes in 2018 that it is hard, at times to focus on the forward mobility it has caused but there has been cause and effect for each. Educationally, my dissertation topic did not get approval, I left that institution, only to find one that embraced my ideas, instead of roadblocked my ideas. Dancing...oh my, that has been the strangest situation and on going soap opera. Who would have thought I would have ever left My old dance studio, after being victimized, emotionally and financially. I almost hung up my dance shoes 3 times this year. Many don't understand the emotional toll that took on me, but..I am grateful to my teacher, who kept teaching me and gave me a platform to continue, and when he could no longer, he transitioned me to other teachers, who care about my dancing and me as a person and a genuine studio owner, who cares, not only about students but people and the special needs population that is so real for myself and my daughter. And there is my daughter...after the devastating blow of not being able to go back to school, has transitioned into another plan for herself, living on her own, with an amazing support situation and good things are in her near future. Career wise, 2019 will be the first year in over 10 years, I will not be working multiple jobs, but focusing on one practice where I am growing as a clinician, a financial risk, yes, but one I know will work.
Every change...has an emotion....these, the main changes but there were many others..each with an emotion...each with pain, tears, and joy...each with the mindful thought, that with each change, there has been growth...professional, personal, and emotional growth that I needed to experience in order to be...where I am...mindfully...today.
As you reflect on your 2018....be mindful to not focus on the past...focus on your today...feel how you feel...don't get caught in looking only behind, or too far forward...focus on your present...today...and then...sit and let it engulf you...the wonder of you...
Happy New Year...2019...to all.
Debbie